Eyespiring

Heather Patrick: 00:03

Hey, it's your eye health experts, Prevent Blindness Texas, and welcome to Eyespiring, a conversation about all things vision and life. Hi, and welcome to Eyespiring with Prevent Blindness Texas. We are inspiring a brighter vision and I'm your host Heather Patrick, President and CEO of PBT. We are focused on advocating for improved health equity, empowering children, adults and seniors to experience life at the highest level and improving overall health, including physical and mental health, by preventing vision loss and addressing eye health issues across the entire health spectrum. Our work improves the health and quality of life for thousands of individuals across the state.

Heather Patrick: 00:44

And just a little background on me. I've been with PBT for eight years. It's hard to believe it has gone fast and we have definitely grown. And I have spent almost twenty plus years in public health nonprofits. And I think what I would say is when I look back over that course, the word advocate always comes up.

Heather Patrick: 01:08

And I think for me, that is really important. We're gonna talk about that a little bit. Why it is critical to use your voice to make change. I am so excited about our guest today. I have known Carol a long time through Delta Gamma and just our lives have crossed many times.

Heather Patrick: 01:32

I am super excited to talk to her, hear her story, talk about her book, but just really all about the journey of life. So with that, I'm just gonna give a little bit, it's a fascinating background, but what I can say about Carol Anakin? Anakin. Anakin. Yeah.

Heather Patrick: 01:54

She has a different last name than what I That's

Carol Enneking: 01:55

right. That's right. It's hard for a lot of people.

Heather Patrick: 01:57

It is to make that mental transition. But what I will say is I have always known Carol to be someone who is inquisitive, thoughtful, really looking at learning and teaching. And we've always, I've always loved that about you. And we've talked about that on and off, but just that ability to really teach and I think, and train. And I think we spend a lot of time talking about that.

Heather Patrick: 02:27

I love to train, but that really comes from a love of learning too, right? And so she has had an amazing career from major corporations to entrepreneurship to an author. And so with that, I'm gonna turn it over to Carol and tell us a little bit about yourself.

Carol Enneking: 02:45

Well, thank you, Heather. I'm really excited to be here too and so glad that Delta Gamma has connected me to so many wonderful women throughout the years. And it's hard to believe, but I've been in Houston for over fifty years.

Heather Patrick: 02:58

That's not possible because I

Carol Enneking: 03:00

know but not that all, right? Yeah. Started kindergarten here in 1974 and it's changed a lot but it there's so much that we take for granted here and it's just such a great city, great city for health care. I'm thrilled to see what you're doing here with Prevent Blindness Texas. I don't think I ever expected to be in Houston all this time, but careers and personal life just sort of led me here after college and then it's kept me here.

Carol Enneking: 03:27

So I've had a career that's taken a lot of unexpected turns. It's been more like a jungle gym than a career ladder. So from corporate to entrepreneur, back to corporate, back to entrepreneurial ventures, that sort of sums it up, but along the way I've had a lot of transitions, some challenges, some things that have made me have to really think about what matters in life and refocus. Yep. That's So, a little about me.

Heather Patrick: 03:58

All right. Okay, so we're going to kick it off with how did you first connect with PBT? I think it had to

Carol Enneking: 04:05

be through Delta Gamma. Always knew about it. When I first came back to Houston after going to UT and being a Delta Gamma and having preventing blindness as our national and local philanthropy, I was always mindful of the various institutions in Houston. I think there's the Light House.

Heather Patrick: 04:25

The Light House for the Blind.

Carol Enneking: 04:26

And we used to volunteer there and do things back in my early 20s before I had children. I wanted to continue giving back to the community. Sadly, I ended up having my own story of vision loss so it became a personal connection at age 26 when I had my first cornea transplant. So I've always known about Prevent Blindness Texas. Obviously the work that Delta Gamma does with Prevent Blindness Texas it's pretty pretty closely linked.

Carol Enneking: 04:55

So it's been at least thirty years.

Heather Patrick: 04:59

I remember, and I was just, I think I was still in college maybe right after college working with the Houston Delta Gamma Foundation and we would clean the ducks and then for the.

Carol Enneking: 05:12

Yes, for the duck grace.

Heather Patrick: 05:13

Yes. Yes.

Carol Enneking: 05:13

I've been there too.

Heather Patrick: 05:14

Yep and then the ducks were stored. I think at PBT's office then. So that was my first, like it's always been in the periphery, it was always there because they are, they were linked. So many Delta Gammas also volunteered for Prevent Blindness Texas, but that is one of the things that stood out to me. Thirty years later, I think about that washing the ducks and Yes, storing

Carol Enneking: 05:38

lots of ducks.

Heather Patrick: 05:39

Are lots of ducks. Good memories. Why is patient advocacy or using your voice so important to influence change? Why is it important to you?

Carol Enneking: 05:49

I think it's important because no one knows you like you know you. And doctors don't always have the answers. We all laugh and say they're practicing medicine. But I've had a few peculiar situations come up in my own health journey that had I not advocated for myself could have had a lot worse consequences. And I think if you feel like there's something that needs to be addressed, you feel like maybe something's not feeling quite right, you need to do something.

Carol Enneking: 06:18

Because doctors, they only know what we tell them. And now caring for aging parents, I've noticed, my mother-in-law sometimes will go into a doctor's appointment and they'll say, well, how are you feeling? And she'll say, great. And we're thinking, okay, you have five different diseases going on. You're 85.

Carol Enneking: 06:37

You're not doing great. You need to tell them what's really going on. But I think people almost, either they know the answer, it should be like, it's just like, hi, how are you? Good, how are you? So it's either that reaction or I think some people just clam up and they don't really know what to say or they don't want to be a bother.

Carol Enneking: 06:55

And so we've got to advocate and sometimes it takes a voice like you in the community to help people say, I think I'm going to go get my vision checked. Think I'm going to go see if there's a reason that I'm not quite seeing as well as I could. So having resources to help you advocate is great too, but it's critical. You can't get the care you need without advocating.

Heather Patrick: 07:19

I think that's a great point. So what are you passionate about personally and professionally?

Carol Enneking: 07:26

Oh goodness. Well, this week mahjong. I'm just learning mahjong.

Heather Patrick: 07:30

Oh, it's so much fun.

Carol Enneking: 07:31

It's so

Heather Patrick: 07:31

hard though.

Carol Enneking: 07:32

I know. I'm learning. That's the key. Speaking of learning, I am passionate about my family. I'm passionate about my friends and getting to spend time with them.

Carol Enneking: 07:44

And that's a little bit of a different answer, I think, because I realized that's something that can slip through the cracks. What I'm really passionate about is helping people reevaluate what matters and rebalance their lives so that they do have margin in there for fulfillment. We stay so busy. I am that person. I'm the poster child for being too busy and having too much on my plate for so many years.

Carol Enneking: 08:09

And I learned a lot of lessons the hard way. And unfortunately, lot of those had to do with my health. Those were a lot of those signals that just kind of made me decide I needed to take a different path. And so now I'm on a mission to help others rebalance and find time in their lives for what matters so they can enjoy the moments and not just keep hoping things will get better down the road.

Heather Patrick: 08:32

I love that. Margin for fulfillment. I mean that is really key. Key. So what makes you work hard every day?

Carol Enneking: 08:42

I think it's my mission. I think it's being aligned with what I know I'm meant to do. And I wake up every morning with an opportunity to help influence the conversation about trying to find, I call it rebalance, not just balance. The minute you have things balanced, things change.

Heather Patrick: 09:00

It's so true.

Carol Enneking: 09:02

It's really cool to get to talk to people like you and have opportunities to just spread the message that we've to take care of ourselves, we've got to take care of the big things, and we've got to worry a lot less about the little things. And so every day I wake up to do something in alignment with that mission. And that's a big part of what I'm trying to work with people on too because I think you've got to know what legacy you want to leave. When you leave this job or this stage of life or this world, what do you want to be said about you? Because when you start with that and you back up from there, it becomes easier to prioritize what really matters and to say no to the things that don't.

Carol Enneking: 09:45

And for many years I was just so busy all the time. So busy. And I never stopped long enough to think about whether I was busy with the right things. I think people say, Oh, well you've got to find your voice. And that's true, you do.

Carol Enneking: 10:01

But for me it wasn't about knowing what to say, it was about stopping long enough to really think. And it's amazing how busy life can be if you let it. But when you're so filled with things to do, have no time left to be fulfilled.

Heather Patrick: 10:19

And that was me. So what's your legacy? What do you want your legacy?

Carol Enneking: 10:23

My legacy is to be a difference maker and to help make the world around me a better place in whatever form that might take. If it's one conversation with somebody, if it's speaking to a group, if it's pouring into my family and my loved ones and being there for them, I want to be known as someone who was there and helped make things better.

Heather Patrick: 10:46

That's good. So in order to do that, what inspires you? Who inspires you?

Carol Enneking: 10:51

Oh my goodness. So many people. It's hard to name just one person. I love people who are vulnerable and tell the truth. So of course the famous people like Mel Robbins, Brene Brown, that message of hers with talking about vulnerability back in, gosh, was it fifteen years ago or so, that really resonated with me.

Carol Enneking: 11:17

And so I admire people that show up as themselves, you know, with some humility, with some humanity, with some vulnerability, and they can just be themselves. Having worked in a lot of corporate roles and with a lot of different companies, it's so sad when I see people trying really hard to be something they're not. Because when you can just let that go and feel like you can be yourself, then you can do great things. But when you're constantly putting these masks on and trying to be something that's not very comfortable for you, it doesn't usually end well. And I've been there and I've tried that.

Carol Enneking: 11:55

So I really admire people who take the masks off and have the courage to lead large like that. I have a lot of personal examples, mentors, people like that that have inspired me. I also just absolutely I can't say enough. This sounds a little crazy, but I love my husband so much. The second time around was just amazing and he and I can finish each other's sentences.

Carol Enneking: 12:24

We can sit next to each other all day, every day, even during COVID and never get tired of each other. So that inspires me having that kind of love and not even knowing that I could. So that was all part of the whole rebalancing act and part of the book. But I'm just thankful. I used to laugh and say, Do people really fall in love like that?

Carol Enneking: 12:44

These sappy songs and you know, who has love like that? And now I'm like, oh my gosh, that's me. So I just wish I had a lot more time with them. I think that's one reason I'm just really trying to embrace the time that we have together and make the most of it because tomorrow's not promised.

Heather Patrick: 13:02

I love that and I love that for you because I know. Yeah, before and after.

Carol Enneking: 13:07

It's been a journey, right?

Heather Patrick: 13:08

Yeah, bet I do. I I love really, that for you. I love it. So I think I know the answer, I'm gonna ask it anyways. Did you always want to be in this field?

Heather Patrick: 13:20

How'd you get here, right? You know,

Carol Enneking: 13:24

it's funny because I have a marketing degree and I went to work for Exxon and I thought I would work for Exxon until retirement and that's what I would do. And my career path was sort of figured out for me. And then I started getting into learning and development as you mentioned earlier and I loved it so much. And I remember going to my boss and saying, Hey, I'd really like to have my next rotation in learning and development. And he looked at me and he said, We know you can do that.

Carol Enneking: 13:53

We need you to go to supply chain or pricing, all these places that didn't sound too exciting to me. But they were going to punch my ticket and keep me on the track. I realized I didn't want to do that. That was probably one of the first really brave decisions I made because I took myself off the high potential track, the fast track to promotions, that safe career path, and said I'm going to go work in learning and development full time. Up until that point I had never really stopped to think about what is it that I want to do.

Carol Enneking: 14:27

And then a lot of time from there I would say my career decisions had a lot to do with my personal life. So after having my first child, I decided I wasn't going be able to travel like I needed to in my job corporately with the second company I was with. And so I ended up going contract, which turned into eighteen years of being an entrepreneur, which I probably would have kept doing. But then I went through a surprise and sudden divorce. I thought, oh, I need stability.

Carol Enneking: 14:56

I need benefits. And so that led me to sell my company, work for the company that bought my company for a couple years, and then eventually transition back into corporate. Which I did for seven years until really it was the health stuff that made me say life is too short. My body started giving me signals like you cannot be this type A and keep working like this forever.

Heather Patrick: 15:18

And

Carol Enneking: 15:19

so that was really the second part of my rebalancing act to step away and say what is it that I'm really passionate about? I knew I wanted to write a book. I knew I wanted to do more speaking, but I had no idea how I would get there. So the long answer to your short question is this is not at all what I thought I would be doing. But I think in a way it is what I had hoped to be doing.

Carol Enneking: 15:42

As I went further in my career, this is kind of my dream and I didn't want to keep putting it off for ten more years. So I thought, okay, no time like the present and here I am.

Heather Patrick: 15:52

That's awesome. So it may not have been where you thought you'd be, but it's definitely your calling.

Carol Enneking: 15:56

Well, you. I think so. And I think the more I've prayed and just left it up to a higher power to help lead me, the better my life has been. Because man, trying to plan it all and have everything go according to plan is a recipe for frustration.

Heather Patrick: 16:14

The best advice given to you in your career?

Carol Enneking: 16:18

Oh gosh, so so much. I think, I mean there's some that are just, they're so natural to me now that it's like, I don't even think about it anymore, but just the things like picking your battles, deciding what you want to fight for and what hill you want to die on so to speak and what you don't. And I think that's especially true in corporate and when you come from an entrepreneurial background back into corporate it's really easy to look at things holistically and see what's not working. But it's not up to me to fix everything. And so it was a really interesting transition to kind of step back and say, okay, the company will continue to run despite this issue or dysfunction.

Carol Enneking: 17:04

And eventually if really a problem, it will be evident to more than just me. And so just being able to be comfortable with that serenity is one of my core values. So being comfortable with what I can change and comfortable with what I can't change because I am so by nature a go getter doer. Hey, that's a great idea. How about yesterday?

Carol Enneking: 17:28

Like, I want to get it done when it's work stuff when it's personal stuff, maybe not so much. But I love to take action. I think the entrepreneurial side of me is used to that because that's when companies would call me. So then when you step back into a corporate role and you realize, okay, I've got to do these things at the speed in which the company can digest it and you can't do too much too fast or none of it goes well. And so learning that whole thing and then also my last boss was really a great mentor in helping me hone my the skill of influence because you can have the best managerial skills and leadership capabilities.

Carol Enneking: 18:12

Heaven knows I should know what it looks like to be a good leader. I've been teaching leadership development for a quarter century, but you know, it's different to go on the inside and do that. And especially when you go into a role where people don't report to you, they don't have to do what you want them to do. And just learning how to inspire and motivate and build your army, so to speak, get people aligned with the mission and wanting to come alongside you to build something, that's a whole different skill set and one that I was really proud to hone with the help of a great mentor.

Heather Patrick: 18:50

That's awesome.

Carol Enneking: 18:52

All

Heather Patrick: 18:53

right, so let's transition just a little bit. You've alluded to it a little bit, so let's talk about your eye health journey.

Carol Enneking: 18:59

Oh boy.

Heather Patrick: 18:59

So share with the audience about your eye disease and also what it's like, you had four cornea transplants. So far. So talk about that, what that experience was like and just share a little bit with the audience of what you're up against and what it's been like.

Carol Enneking: 19:15

Sure. Well, have keratoconus. They think it might be hereditary. They're not sure, last I checked. It's also known as eye rubbers disease.

Carol Enneking: 19:26

So I think what they're thinking it could be is that you might have this genetic predisposition for keratoconus and then it would come out if you have allergies and rub your eyes a lot. I already told you I've lived in Houston a long time, so I've had allergies a long time. And I rubbed my eyes terribly as a child. But I never wore glasses or anything until my senior year of college. And all of a sudden I started seeing double.

Carol Enneking: 19:51

And I went to an optometrist in Austin and my mother said, come home, let's get you to an ophthalmologist, which was a good call. And I went to the ophthalmologist and he said, you have something called keratoconus. It means your corneas are cone shaped and they're distorting your vision. And he said, you treat it with contact lenses. He referred me down to Houston Eye Associates.

Carol Enneking: 20:16

And this was in 1991. That's how long I've been a patient there. He said, I sure hope you never have to have a cornea transplant because it's terrible surgery. Four years later, I had my cornea transplant. I became legally blind in one eye.

Carol Enneking: 20:31

I was driving a company car in my job for Exxon. I was driving like 3,500 miles a month on Houston Freeways, which wasn't great when you're having trouble seeing. They were wonderful to me and accommodated me very well to go have the transplant. It was far different than it is today. It was running sutures that were in a starburst shape that I'd get a couple plucked out of my eye every couple of months.

Carol Enneking: 20:57

People cringe when I say that. I just I think it was every couple of weeks. I had to wear a patch on my eye 20 fourseven for a week and then four times a day for four months until most of the stitches were removed. And then there was a running suture that was in there two years. So probably TMI, but it was quite involved.

Carol Enneking: 21:16

With the advent of lasers and everything, so this was 1994. And by 02/2004, I had a second transplant and it was far different. It was better. It was easier. It was done by lasers.

Carol Enneking: 21:33

So in those ten years, I think because the first one that was the first surgery I'd ever had.

Heather Patrick: 21:38

Right.

Carol Enneking: 21:38

It was a big deal. I was a miracle. I remember it. My doctor, Doctor. Jeffrey Lanier would bring others in, medical students in and say, look at her.

Carol Enneking: 21:52

Because I had no vision problems after that. I didn't even wear a contact lens for probably twenty years. It was amazing. And you're kind of left with whatever issue you have before you have the keratoconus. And so that was wonderful.

Carol Enneking: 22:10

And then I got busy having kids and things like that. And I really didn't want to think about it again, but I needed to because my other eye, then got worse. And it's kind of hard because when it starts to get worse, your eye starts drooping. It wants to close. It just doesn't want to stay open and do its work.

Carol Enneking: 22:29

So it finally reached a point where I was like, okay, I need to do this. So I had my, left eye transplant in 02/2004. It was successful. I I was always afraid of rejection

Heather Patrick: 22:42

and

Carol Enneking: 22:44

got to where when I traveled, I would take drops with me just in case because I did start having rejection in both eyes, but mostly my right eye. But it was always able to be reversed with drops. So life was good. I would just go, have my normal vision workups every year, and then call if I had a problem. But in, I think it was 2016 maybe, maybe it was earlier than that, but I had these amazing lenses.

Carol Enneking: 23:13

Scleral lenses came along. And so my left eye was not nearly, it was successful in terms of the transplant, but I didn't see as well. I had very distorted vision and the thing about keratoconus is if you wear glasses, it kind of, it's hard to get rid of the distortion. So you end up with these Coke bottle, very strange looking thick lenses and they just don't work as well as contacts. But I couldn't see better than about twenty, fifty with my contact in.

Carol Enneking: 23:45

And then scleral lenses came along and I thought, I am set forevermore. And I don't think I must have heard them back in my twenties when they said that the transplants only last maybe twenty, twenty five years. So the right one had lasted twenty six years and who knows how long it would have lasted. But in 2020, I got breast cancer and right before the world shut down, I had my surgery and then I had radiation. And we don't know this for sure, so I don't want to alarm people, but I'll just say the subset of women who have had breast cancer and radiation and keratoconus and a cornea transplant, because not everybody with keratoconus has to have a cornea transplant.

Carol Enneking: 24:29

It's just if your vision gets bad enough that it can't be corrected. So anyway, there's probably a pretty small subset out there of people who had been through what I had, but, one of the things they want you to do in breast cancer is take, an aromatase inhibitor for five to ten years. Tamoxifen is one that people know of, And it's sort of like a low dose of chemo. Helps prevent recurrence. So it's very important to take that.

Carol Enneking: 24:55

When I took it, I had, well, my cornea rejected. It failed. It was just done. So I had a partial, gosh, I think they call it a PK, something like that, but it's a partial transplant and it's far less invasive. And so they tried that.

Carol Enneking: 25:15

It was amazing. It worked beautifully. October 2020 I had that. And then a month later they took the stitch out and that was all they ever had to do because there weren't all these other stitches anymore. And I couldn't see anymore.

Carol Enneking: 25:31

It didn't take, it didn't adhere to the eye like it should have. So went right back in, had another one, a full transplant. Again, I just can't say enough about the medical advances and how far the technology's come. I'd like to say that doctor I first saw in Houston was wrong. It wasn't the most unpleasant surgery ever.

Carol Enneking: 25:54

It's just fine and it's fixable. So I did have another transplant. It was fine. That was my fourth one. So I've now had three in my right eye.

Carol Enneking: 26:05

But I've rejected a couple of times since then. They tried me on tamoxifen twice and both times I rejected. It. So that's the part that I don't want to say that there's for sure a relationship there, but of all the things that could have caused my cornea to reject, tamoxifen is one of them. So I could not take tamoxifen.

Carol Enneking: 26:26

It was decided between my oncologist and my ophthalmologist that I couldn't tolerate it. But I'm holding steady. Sometimes it starts to reject and then I do drops preventatively. And so my biggest thing now is sometimes when I do the drops, makes your eye, it can cause those broken blood vessels really easily and the bruising in there that's really red and yellow and ugly. And I get that every few months.

Carol Enneking: 26:55

So if you ever see me in a picture with that, that's just, it's my cross to bear. And you know what? I can see. And I am celebrating that for as long as I can. I will say I have the kind of car that has those sensors all the way around because my depth perception isn't great.

Carol Enneking: 27:13

So I'm thankful for a car that helps me see and around corners and in parking garages and things. I'll take it. I mean, sometimes people are like, you've had four cornea transplants. It's like, yeah, but I can see. So long story.

Heather Patrick: 27:30

But meaningful and a couple of things. I think one of the things we really try to hone in on is this connection between vision and overall health. Truly medications you're taking definitely impact your vision. Absolutely. And so I think that's a really important point of regardless of what you're dealing with, the medication you are on, you should always, even if you've never been to the eye doctor, always have that conversation because the potential for vision impact is definitely there.

Heather Patrick: 28:06

I think the other thing to me is it is amazing the technology that has come so far, but it is such a journey to go through when you have vision issues. It really, I think most people just take their vision for granted. So it is remarkable the progress and very thankful that there is that kind of progress, but it is still in-depth journey. And what perspective to know, you can lose it at any time, truly.

Carol Enneking: 28:39

You can. It's, first of all, as far as the advocacy, had I not had a conversation with my ophthalmologist saying, you know what, I just started tamoxifen again. And of course the ophthalmologist had the added bonus. This was Doctor. Vital after Doctor.

Carol Enneking: 28:56

Lanier had retired and now I see Doctor. Goosey. But Doctor. Vital's wife was an OBGYN, so he could talk to her about it. But had I not advocated, to your point about advocacy, I don't know that we would have made that connection.

Carol Enneking: 29:10

And it was a really important connection to make because I would have been at the point where your transplant fails, you're in for another transplant. And by the way, the more transplants you have, the more trouble you have with other things. So I failed to mention I've already had cataract surgery in my right eye because of all the trauma to the eye. So I know that when I go to the doctor for my contact lens fitting and Doctor. Ashley Tucker, shout out, she's the best optometrist with Beller Family Eye Care.

Carol Enneking: 29:47

Yay! They're one of our sponsors. We're walk. Yay! Yes, they are just phenomenal and Doctor.

Carol Enneking: 29:54

Karen Epling is also there and her dad was my optometrist for years. I know that when I go for a fitting, I'll probably be making five or six visits down to Bel Air and I live in Cyprus. So, it's not right around the corner but I've accepted that and I know that and I try to plan it where I can be going in the middle of the day and not in the worst traffic when there's brick loads dropped on the freeway. But you just have to plan for it and that's what I mean when I talk about having margin in your life. Because when you're so busy like I was yours and yours, of trying to work and raise kids and do all the things, those appointments were disruptions that I didn't want to deal with.

Carol Enneking: 30:37

But you need to deal with it. And when I've learned to make space and time for those disruptions and have some margin in my life and let some of the other stuff go, you know what? My eye health is a high priority and therefore I go to the doctor as scheduled.

Heather Patrick: 30:54

I love it. I love that and it's true, right? You can look at it as a disruption and when you view it that way, you are less likely to adhere to do what you need to do versus the opportunity to heal and to have your health. But it all comes down to energy and priority. Advocating, is there other advice you would give to the audience as they're going through their healthcare journey?

Heather Patrick: 31:27

Yeah, I

Carol Enneking: 31:28

would say be proactive as much as you can. Our medical system is not set up to be proactive, unfortunately. And it is amazing how everything in your body is so affected by everything else in your body. And I have a family doctor that I'm so thankful for because she's the one who puts the pieces together. So have those well woman visits, have those annual exams, make sure that your health is being checked out, get blood work done, do things to make sure you're okay.

Carol Enneking: 32:02

Don't wait till something's wrong to go to the doctor. Because when something's wrong, it's probably going to be far more of a disruption, far more things you're going to have to adhere to and make time for. And you might be out of work because you've got to rehabilitate. My life is filled with stories of being both proactive about things like my eye health and not necessarily being as proactive about things like working out and exercise. I mean, after breast cancer, of course, I'm in my 50s, I'm going through menopause, or I probably already have been, but all the things put together.

Carol Enneking: 32:44

I had breast cancer, I went back to work, they told me not to get too stressed, and there I was, same type A personality, doing everything and then some. And of course I thought, well now my kids are in college, I have all the time in the world

Heather Patrick: 32:59

to work, which is great,

Carol Enneking: 33:01

but you still have to give yourself time. You know what, I'm not as young as I used to be. And so all of a sudden I went into MD Anderson for a checkup and I had diabetes. No idea. And then a year after that, once I got the diabetes under control, was doing some of my best work and feeling so good and all of a sudden high blood pressure.

Carol Enneking: 33:22

And I told my boss at the time, I said, I think my body is giving me signals that I absolutely cannot continue working at this pace. And that was the beginning of my exit strategy.

Heather Patrick: 33:35

Wow, that gave me chills. Wow. So one of my questions is, what surprised you the most about the healthcare system and then kind of what was your takeaway? So

Carol Enneking: 33:47

Oh gosh, there's so much. I think what surprises me, and this is probably coming more from caring for three aging parent, well, my father just passed away from, he had Alzheimer's, so now I have two aging parents, my mother and my mother-in-law. I think what's surprising is how specialists are so focused on their specialty that they don't always see the holistic picture. And so you can be in the hospital, especially, gosh, don't even get me started with the Medicare and the rules and the ins and the outs of all the hospitalization stuff. But you can be in there for, let's say you have a heart episode, you're in there for your heart.

Carol Enneking: 34:32

The cardiologist is looking at your heart, but they're not necessarily looking to see how your kidneys and your liver and the rest of you are doing. And so we're having to advocate and say, well, we're concerned that this medication is going to do this because of this other problem that she has. And they're like, oh, I hadn't thought of that. And so I just can't say enough that you need to keep notes. The more medications you or your loved ones are on, keep it written down, keep notes about conditions, prepare to ask those questions to doctors anytime, any place, even if you think it's not related.

Carol Enneking: 35:11

Just ask the question, hey, could this have anything to do with this? Or do you want to know what medicines I'm taking? Because I'm continually surprised and amazed just how much things interact. Yeah. So advocate, very big message.

Heather Patrick: 35:27

Yep, but it is true and I think we don't really realize it's a ripple effect across your body. I had Doctor. Martinez on a couple of episodes ago and talking about looking at integrative healthcare, really looking at all of the pieces, mental health, spiritual health, physical health, they all interact. It is a ripple effect when you have something impact your health across the board. It is so important.

Heather Patrick: 36:03

And it's important, going back to your comment earlier, I think especially women in general, don't tell the truth when we're sitting in the doctor's And it is so important to tell what's really happening with your body because that is really the only way they're gonna help you solve it. But I do think we are, I don't know if it's just by our nature or condition, we don't tell the truth when we go see the doctor.

Carol Enneking: 36:29

Yeah, or we forget all of it. I keep notes on my phone, things I want to ask my doctor next time, or I use the patient portal. And I'm always amazed at how much even dental health has to do with the rest. I was talking to someone whose loved one was in the late stages of their life and they said, it could be a bed sore or an infection in a tooth that could take them after all the other stuff. Those things can wreak havoc on your body in a hurry.

Carol Enneking: 37:06

I mean, God forbid, I hope we don't have bed sores. I don't spend a lot of time in bed. I'm not bedridden, thank God. But it all goes together. It does.

Carol Enneking: 37:15

And dental health can be a good precursor to what's going on in the rest of your body. And isn't it funny, as women, we take care of our kids.

Heather Patrick: 37:22

Absolutely.

Carol Enneking: 37:23

If they need a physical, if they need to go see the dentist or the orthodontist, we're there. We're making sure we do it. But why don't we give ourselves as much priority? We really need to.

Heather Patrick: 37:35

Yep. 100%. Alright, so let's talk about the book. Okay, alright. So what helped you decide, I'm gonna write this book right now?

Carol Enneking: 37:49

Well, I think it was the gift of time. I didn't have the gift of time probably my entire adult life until I left my job and I had time to think, What do I really want to do next? But I would say the biggest reason that I was able to do it is because my best childhood friend, Bethany Lytton Bradsher, has written now 17 books. You'll see her name is on my book. I called her and I said, I want to write a book.

Carol Enneking: 38:19

I knew I had wanted to for a long time, but I said, I really want to do this. Would you like to help me? And so she did. She helped me get the stories on paper. I told my story.

Carol Enneking: 38:31

I interviewed over 70 women and men about their stories. And she helped me with the themes and putting it into a nice readable book.

Heather Patrick: 38:43

That is so cool. So what has your life been like since the book launched?

Carol Enneking: 38:49

I've had a lot of pinch me moments. It's been a lot of unexpected attention, I And it's funny because I said, I don't care if I sell five books, I just want to do it. And I knew it would help me hone my speaking message. When you do learning and development for a living like I did for a long time, you know a little about a lot of things. And it's easy to go down these rabbit trails with your job and say, oh yeah, I can help you with that or I can do this, but I really wanted to be more focused and intentional.

Carol Enneking: 39:22

And so I knew the book would help me with that, but I didn't it's really easy and maybe it's impostor syndrome, I don't know, but it's easy to think, well, why does it even matter? Will anybody even relate to this? But it's been kind of funny because the more I talk to people in the interviews, I had people saying, oh, you should talk to my friend. And I was talking to people I'd never met. I had interviews from all over the place and the message was resonating.

Carol Enneking: 39:54

And then you start seeing studies about how despite all of our connectedness now with social media and everything, have an epidemic of loneliness. We are more burned out than ever before. We women are feeling so much stress because we manage things differently than men do. That's a fact. And so the message has been timely and it's really kind of ironic to me because I think about the commercials I saw as a little kid in the 70s with, you know, I can bring him the bacon and fry it up in the pan.

Carol Enneking: 40:27

We had these messages that would tell us we could do anything. I think the idea was to have it all. And I don't even think we stopped long enough to figure out what it is. We just knew we were supposed to do it all. And so I would pursue all these things with gusto and not even look at whether they were the right things to pursue.

Carol Enneking: 40:48

But so many women do that. And I think it's the ambitious professional women that I talk to. It's all same traits that make you successful. Absolutely. It also can be your worst enemy.

Carol Enneking: 41:02

Absolutely. Because you don't prioritize well. It's like, oh I can do that, so I should. No, maybe not. So it's been surprising how much the message has resonated and getting picked up by articles and news media and things like that has been a neat surprise.

Heather Patrick: 41:20

Yep, it's been fun to watch you.

Carol Enneking: 41:22

Well, thank

Heather Patrick: 41:23

I think it's just so amazing when you see women just take flight. Thank you.

Carol Enneking: 41:30

A fun journey. Don't know where it's leading, but I'm here for it.

Heather Patrick: 41:33

Yeah, no, it has been phenomenal to Thank watch you. Thanks. And I think, when I think about kind of the last couple years for myself, you're right. Whether it's by what we're taught or just our nature to just drive, drive, drive, succeed, succeed, succeed. But what I found is I didn't learn ever how to set boundaries very well.

Heather Patrick: 41:58

Neither did I. And so learning that was a game changer and also really understanding how I was gonna spend my energy. Kind of goes back to your earlier lesson of choosing what battles, right? That really became important to me. I had a great mentor when I worked at Komen and that was one of the biggest lessons I learned from watching her was pick your battles.

Heather Patrick: 42:25

But I really, it's amazing to me how hard it is to set boundaries. It is. But it has been, I think it really has changed my life in learning how to do it and do it well.

Carol Enneking: 42:38

That's good. That's a message a lot of others need to hear.

Heather Patrick: 42:44

Tell me a little bit about the key takeaways from the book.

Carol Enneking: 42:47

The takeaways are, well, there's three sections to each chapter from the interviews, and that is we have traps that women can fall into. So we came up with some archetypes, things like overloaded Olivia and lovable Lila and things like that. So those are the traps and then, sorry, those are the types. And then the traps are the traps you can fall into for those types. And then the techniques, that's really the takeaway is, okay, if you see yourself falling into this trap, what can you do?

Carol Enneking: 43:24

And we don't just identify with one of the archetypes. We could be any of them at any time, but it's just different ways we tend to show up. And so the real key takeaway is what you can do about it. What you can do to find a better way to show up and it's built on the stories and the interviews of all the people that I talk to. And then of course my memoir is interspersed in there as well.

Carol Enneking: 43:53

So my hope is that people can also learn lessons from me, from the things I learned the hard way. Maybe they can avoid making the same mistakes I did. So the takeaway is that you have everything within you to find the balance that you're looking for and find the or the rebalance. And it's about being agile and stopping and thinking long enough to think about what matters the most, what you're aiming for, and what you want to let go. And a lot of it is letting go of what everybody else thinks.

Carol Enneking: 44:26

For me, it was letting go of trying to please my father. He set these incredibly high expectations and I think I was living his dream instead of mine half So the it's letting go of all that and not being afraid to show up fully for who you're meant to be and let go of the rest.

Heather Patrick: 44:45

Yeah, I love that. So how cool was it when you were in New York and you were in Times Square, right, and your book was on the Well,

Carol Enneking: 44:56

truth be told, I was not in Times Square the day it was on the billboard because I was on vacation in Croatia. So, but I had a friend that took the picture for me. I had heard it was going to be there. That was one of those pinch me moments and yes, the book won an award and it got featured on a Times Square bill board.

Heather Patrick: 45:13

That is so cool. And I wanted to

Carol Enneking: 45:15

be there and I wanted to be holding the book up with the billboard in the background but unfortunately, I had to see it from afar but yes, it was it was very cool.

Heather Patrick: 45:25

That is amazing. That is really, really Alright, anything else in terms of when you think back over your career and you wish, oh I just wish I would have done it this way.

Carol Enneking: 45:40

Oh goodness. You know, it's easy to think about what you would do differently. Hindsight is

Heather Patrick: 45:50

always twenty twenty.

Carol Enneking: 45:53

So I don't want to go there necessarily with, Oh, did I need to sell my company and go back corporate? I could have kept doing what I was doing. Yeah, maybe, but I wouldn't have learned what I learned. So I think if anything, and this is probably stating the obvious, but I wish I would have learned earlier to realize that I was enough and I wasn't I didn't need to please everybody else and prove anything to anyone. I just needed be good with where I was and not constantly be worried about what was coming down the road.

Carol Enneking: 46:28

Because if I would have just kind of taken more deep breaths, enjoyed where I was more and worried less, I think I would have had a lot less stress. So that's just kind of the overarching statement I I would

Heather Patrick: 46:41

think that's a great perspective.

Carol Enneking: 46:45

We have that when we grow older. Yeah, I

Heather Patrick: 46:47

was gonna say, right? Absolutely, absolutely. But it is, I think it's faith that you have it in you to do what you need to do. And we spend a long time questioning that. And that need for control.

Heather Patrick: 47:06

Once you learn to let it go, life is so different. Yes, isn't it? Life is so different. Well, thank you so much for being here. Carol, I just and love I love watching

Carol Enneking: 47:18

Right back at you, Ms. CEO. I'm so proud of you and the work you're doing and really glad to be part of this. Thank you for having me.

Heather Patrick: 47:25

Thank you and thanks for sharing your story and thank you for the book. You're welcome.

Carol Enneking: 47:29

Enjoy

Heather Patrick: 47:30

it. Everybody listening, the book is called The Rebalancing Act and it is great. We're so excited for having Carol today and all different ways to get involved with PBT. We have events throughout the year. Of course, you can donate.

Heather Patrick: 47:46

We are always looking for people to join our committees and of course go out in the field and help us deliver our mission. So don't forget to follow us, I aspiring and as always we want to know what your vision is. Thank you.